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Apr 26, 2009

Nonsense dowry system


the dowry system in the sub-continent is a wrath on muslims.
it has gone so far that the parents have started to save dowry for a daughter the time she is born.

these two incidents have made me wondered and i felt i would go and slap them left and right

1. my mom was telling a relative of ours called an another relative and said that some one in her relatives wanted to marry their daughter, she straight aaway first asked how much dowry are they willing to give, interestingly my aunt said we are not at all interested in such people

2. another close relative of mine has a single daughter, she is going to be married to a bit religious family, thought they havent asked anything, this brides mother is doing over acting, she is giving her many new things like laptop and all, creating a new extra bidah and burden to others. to show my discontent, i have decided to just meet the bride groom in function all, and come back, i am not going to eat or drink anything there and not even stay more than 10 minutes. first of all i am ashamed to even go there, but since they are my close relatives i have to go orelse i am afraid it would break tie ups

it really makes me wonder to what stage muslims have fallen to, instead of showing my silent discontent, i cant do anything, but inshaallah i feel my showing of this open discontent will surely bring change among others

i pray that Allah save us all from this system and give us ability to lead a simple and happy isamic way of life


yes and it makes me very sad when i see this so called rich people spending lacks of rupees for their marriages

even the so called deeni muslims are indulged in this barbaric activity

it is just like throwing away the girls from their houses by paying extra amount of money to their husbands, such marriages hardly turn out to have enjoyable life later and for every need the husband will turn to brides family, in another incident i heard even for the gas connection they took the money from brides family, i wonder to what level this beggars will still fall

like in second story, if such people change then it will be easier to change the others

my heart still says, i shoudnt attend that marriage, but they are very close relatives of mine

the only solution i found very useful for this and i am implementing practically is

1. youngsters should strongly oppose this system (especially males)
2. when ever the talk of dowry comes, use some harsh comments like
- he want to live on money of his wife
- he cant even spent on his wife, so he takes the amount from her father
- he is a beggar
- he is impotent etcc..
p.s: only males should use such language against other brothers who take, when we start using such comments, others who wish to take dowry will feel ashamed

3. brothers shouldnt accept any thing from brides even if they want to give happily
4. brothers should do marriage in masjid and distribute dates to all attendees and disperse
5. valima can be done by calling our direct uncles and aunts at home
6. we should stop spreading the excuse " it is permissible to do according to our standard". we should remember that others follow what we do and others may not have the standard as we have

and very important: sisters too should let their desire of wearing so much jewelry and costly costumes for marriages and they should also force their families and friends to cut down the unnecessary costs for marriages

p.s i have decided to end my marriage within 10,000(around 200 US dollars) from my side and zero rupees from brides side

and plz do dua that i achieve this goal

For detail discussion, please visit Sunniforum - Nonsense dowry system



  1. Ameen. Indeed this is a serious problem.
    This link has some good advices:


  2. Assalam Alaykum,
    Brother I hope you dont mind but I linked your blog from
    Please consider linking to Haq Islam from here also.

  3. i get angry at the poor people .....

    there are some who beg to spend and waste in marriage while even the rich wont spend that much....

    what to do??? kuch nahi kar saktay :(

  4. Assalamua'laikum

    its the rich who distroy the poor by doing such actions. if the rich didnt do it then why would poor people bother about it

    rich people want to show their status, and the pure also dreams the same


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